Lover I Don't Have to Love

Things have changed. The entire group's dynamic is different now.
Especially my relationship with Lauren Laurent.

We were in some room at some house party. Just me and Laura. She wanted to know everything about Arienette. Apparently, she considered my mental health her business....

One thing led to another. I don't remember much. Things are so hazy...

One second, I was telling her that I didn't want to be hurt again, and I didn't want to hurt again, and then she's on top of me, and then we're in the bed and then...

The Key inside of me activates, by itself.
We're both dragged elsewhere, somewhere.

As in, we weren't on the bed anymore.

I found myself outside of a club. The sky was pitch black, and it smelled like it should have been snowing. Crowds of people gathered around the club, but it just all seemed...so out of focus, I guess. They didn't matter. They almost seemed out of color.
Except for one pair of shoes that stood out throughout the entire crowd.

I picked her out of the crowd, and talked to her. She looked at me, and in her eyes, I saw the destruction of Arienette and all the lies inside of me. I don't know her, and yet I completely do; it's Lauren
I told her I liked her shoes.
She says thanks, and then asks if she could follow me.
I feel so horrible in that moment. I figure that I have a choice in that precise moment:

Do I let her in?
Or do I shut her out and keep her safe?

She doesn't give and answer, and I wasn't expecting one. I let my shoes guide her shoes. We weaved in and out of the crowd, traveling to the stairwell at the other end of the building. We climbed it, shoes bouncing up the steps one by one.

Down a hallway, to the left, into a door, onto the bed, shoes off, lights off; conscious thought, off.

Skin against skin, eye to eye, feet close together, hands clenched and clasped; she had such Bright Eyes.

She embraces me, comes close. Her breath brushes past and over my cheek. Cold and sweet. I kiss her, and push her down, and then position myself over her. I grip her shoulders down, and she whispers:

"You write such pretty words-"

And then I scream:

"But life's no story book!!"

And then she says:

"Love's an excuse to get hurt...."

And I add on:

"...and to hurt."

And then yeah. Stuff happened. I made the decision. Everything's either fucked up... or right, again.

I guess only time can tell, eh?

We went to sleep in that someplace else and awoke sitting next to each other, naked, in a hotel room on a couch. I have no idea how we got to that room. Or this hotel. It's completely different than the hotel we've been staying at. But it's not like we sleptwalk thousands of miles. This hotel is right across and up the street from that other hotel.

We're about to meet back up with the rest of the group. Going to have to come clean. Can't keep this a secret. Fuck.

And on top of it all, Headquarters is pissed at us for some reason. I don't know why, so don't ask.

Anyways. Got to go.

I hope this doesn't ruin things again. Please don't let it.